


Enough

by nosecoffee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: "That Would Be Enough" rewrite, Angst?, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Set between Right Hand Man and Winters Ball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You should have told me.”</p><p>"I'm not sorry."</p><p>Alexander intercepts one of John's letters from his wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

He watched as Alex entered the tent through his fingers, breathing hard in the effort not to break down.

It was so like him to leave something long enough that it reentered his life in the worst way possible.

“John?” He didn’t look up. “John.”

Alex’s thin, ink stained hands covered his own and pulled them away from his face.

“John, please talk to me.”

He avoided Alex’s gaze, instead deciding to stare at his boots.

“Just tell me why?”

“I don’t think I can.” John’s voice was small.

“When were you married?”

“Three years ago.”

Alex’s weight joined his on the cot, and he handed John the letter, so carefully written, sent with such care and concern.

“John, you should have told me.” Alex sounded broken, wounded, like he couldn’t believe John would lie to him about this.

“Honor meant I had to undergo,” John said, gesturing with his hands, still refusing to meet Alex’s eyes.

“No.”

“She’s in England with our girl.” Alex’s breath quickened, and John could feel his eyes boring into the back of his head.

“You should have _told me._ ”

“I’m _not_ sorry.” John looked up at him finally, and Alex looked about as wrecked as he expected. “I knew you’d end what had hardly begun-”

“No, we’re not done.” Alex said, a desperate look in his eyes, and he grabbed at one of his hands.

“When to me you have been the _only one_.” He gripped the shorter man’s hand.

“Am I supposed to _ignore_ your wife? Be a secret for all of your life?” Alex asked and John sighed, his gaze drifting to their intertwined palms.

“I just need this, wrong or right.” John cupped his face with his other hand, and let the letter flutter to the ground, forgotten, for the moment. “Look around, look around. Look at where we are, look at where we started. The fact that we’re in love is a miracle. Just be mine, _that would be enough_.

“If in our prime, you can lend me your heart awhile,” Their foreheads connected lightly, and John kept eye-contact. “Know I’ll step back when it’s time - _damn the world_ \- that would be enough.

“I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing,” John shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “The gap that’s somehow grown between our friendship and your pride.”

Alex looked away and John sighed. “But I’m not afraid, I know, should you marry, recalling you were mine, at the end of the day; that would be enough.”

Alex gripped his forearms hard, his knuckles went white, and John pulled his head back so that he could tip Alex’s to look at him. “We’ll give them a legacy. We can’t have forever,” He chuckled humorlessly. “If we are to free this land together, _if you could let me inside your heart._ Oh, let’s close our eyes to the narrative, our love won’t get in the way. Let’s forget everything but each other.”

John licked his lips and smiled at Alex. “You make me want to stay.”

He stroked Alex’s cheekbones with his thumbs, watching the shorter man’s eyelids flutter shut. “That could be enough. And we could be enough. This can be enough.”

 _For now,_ but he left it unspoken, and kissed Alex.

 

 

****Fin.** **

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post by @godbewithyouihavedone on Tumblr, yes I used their lyrics, the claim to that wonder is theirs, and I just put actions to it. Hope you enjoyed it. :P


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